Guest Article by Kendra Dillinger
Have you ever met your favorite artist? Dreamt of what that experience may feel like? What you might say given a single opportunity? Most of us music lovers would say absolutely.
For me the dream came true on a normal Tuesday at my cafe job. Swinging lattes, greeting customers, and most unfortunately grieving the very recent loss of my father whilst coping with my most used refuge, Phoebe Bridgers. Coincidentally she had just released a stellar album on her personal grievances with her own father “Lost Weekend”.
I make my favorite usuals’ cold brew, check sales, and then my phone. And there it was, a direct message from Lightning 100. “You have been chosen as our winner for the Phoebe Bridgers Soundcheck Giveaway. Two tickets to her sold out show, an exclusive soundcheck performance, and a group picture with Phoebe.”
Tears soared down my cheek. This cannot be real. Why me? Was my luck actually coming back around? Not only an album to help me navigate my grief but now an experience to keep me going.
What do I do with my time now? I am now eagerly anticipating a moment I will hold in my heart forever whilst battling the loss my father. Tethering this in the foregrounds of my mind. Five weeks, two weeks, three days, and in a blink here I am. Bridgestone Arena, everyone here full of passion and the same nerve wracking excitement as me. A community we all yearn for. The winners trickle in slowly. Unitedly grinning from ear to ear. Introducing ourselves and sharing our excitement and personal experiences from the show the previous night. We can’t fathom what is waiting for us inside the arena. A place that currently holds all of our biggest fantasies.
The staff ushers us all in. The energy feels like a held breath in the best way possible. All of a sudden I see her. A platinum goddess in all black. Shaking with excitement. It’s almost as if I am walking on a cloud. We reach the barricade to the empty chill arena. “Hey guys!” She calls to us. We all respond in our own excited ways. She asks what songs we would want to hear. One girl says “Chinese Satellite.” I am now elated, this being one of my personal favorites. A moment of silence occurs, my time to step in. This is it.
I eagerly and nervously raise my hand like a child on their first day of kindergarten. She meets me with a kind smile. “Punisher?” I ask nervously. This song was the one I submitted to the Lightning 100 giveaway, which led me to this very moment. I have always held “Punisher” close to my heart. One lyric reads, “What if I told you I feel like I know you, but we never met.” She nods. Trying to stay present I take in the moment. Grief shows you how important it is to cherish life, even the most beautiful times will pass. She sounds even better than I could have imagined. An actual angel on earth.
The moment passes slowly and all at once. Time for our picture! Staff shows us to a few of the thousands of seats surrounding us. The one and only empty
seat being next to me. I look over to my right. Confiding in a girl that was a stranger but in that moment felt like a close friend. “Do I look okay?” “Beautiful.” Next thing I know Phoebe Lucille Bridgers was next to me. Her elbow rests on my shoulder, we smile. Then in just a few moments everything I could have possibly dreamt and truly needed had happened. A true blessing she chose to give all of us.
This experience has given me so much. The power of community hidden in the most obvious places. Showing support to your local music scene gives back just when you need it most. A rare telepathy I may never understand but will always give back to and be grateful for. An opportunity to meet my hero and now kickstart to my dream of writing about what I am passionate about most. If this is where the journey begins, I can think of no better place to start.
And somewhere in that empty arena, sitting shoulder to shoulder I was reminded why I had fallen in love with music in the first place.
